If you and your spouse are not able to come to a divorce agreement on your own or through mediation, you’ll have to turn to the court to settle your differences. This is called litigation, and it is far more costly and time-consuming than mediation.

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There are Rabbinic Courts throughout the country. The location for the litigation (and your Get ceremony) will be determined by where you live. Each rabbinic court is presided over by a panel of three judges or dayanim (דיינים).

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The Litigation Process

File a request for conflict resolution

Your first step is to file a request for conflict resolution (בקשה ליישוב סכסוך). According to the law passed in 2014, all disagreements have to go through at least one mandated mediation session first. So about two weeks after you file, a meeting with a social worker (פגישת מהות) will be arranged for you and your spouse. (Mehot (מהות) is a Hebrew acronym for information, familiarization and coordination). The meeting is run under the auspices of the social services department (רווחה) and takes place in the support center (יחידת הסיוע) in the Bet HaDin.

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Meeting with the social worker

Meeting with the social worker is considered the same as showing up for court, so attendance for you and your spouse is obligatory. The social worker’s job is to confirm you are both sure about divorce and to suggest you try and reconcile your differences before you resort to litigation. Everything you discuss with her is confidential and off the record unless she feels that there is abuse going on. In that case she will have to report it to the court.

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Cooling off period

From the day the request for conflict resolution (בקשה ליישוב סכסוך) is filed there is a court mandated period of approximately 2 months were neither of you can submit any motions (תביעות) to the court. This is to encourage a cooling off period when, hopefully, you will be able to either reconcile or find an alternative to litigation. Whichever party opens the case in the Beit Hadin can file immediately after the "cooling off period"  (60 days) ends. The party who was summoned is required to wait 65 days from the opening of the case.

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At your first meeting with the social worker you’ll be given the choice to let the 2 months run out or to extend it another 60 days. You’ll be required to sign a form (טופס) indicating your choice. But, if you both do not agree to extend the 60 day cooling off period, there will be no extension. You can continue to extend this cooling-off period as many times as you want, but again, you both have to agree. You are entitled to 3 more sessions with the social worker at no charge, if you want to continue mediation with her. You are free to hire a private mediator that you and your spouse go to together or you can hire one to represent just yourself.

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Note: There are exceptions, when emergency motions can be made during the freeze period, when related to child custody, child support and the health of the children. These include: taking a child to a medical exam, the safety of the child with the custodial parent is in question, or arranging for temporary child support payments. You can also make a motion to prevent your spouse from leaving the country or taking your child out of the country.

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Filing your claims for litigation

You must think very carefully about what you ask for in your claim(s). It’s also crucial to choose the court that will give you the advantage – Rabbinic Court or Family Court – and to avoid getting dragged into the court that puts you at a disadvantage. For example, the Rabbinic Court often recognizes a business owned by the wife as her property alone, and therefore not subject to equal division between spouses. The Family Court does not. The Rabbinic Court considers it a father’s halachic obligation to financially support his children whereas the Family Court may base its child support decision on which of the parents makes more money. I will consider all the details of your situation and advise you as to which court you should choose.

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I practice exclusively in the Rabbinic Courts in Israel which has given me a deep understanding of the best way to navigate its intricacies. Before I appear before any Bet HaDin, I conduct meticulous research into the judges (dayanim). This gives me important insights into their backgrounds, their mentors, and their previous judgments. It helps me formulate the approach I’ll put together for my client, which in turn, has allowed me to consistently obtain rulings in my clients’ favor.

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Litigation

Sadly, the Rabbinic Courts are flooded with divorce cases and there are not enough dayanim to handle them all. The backlog is significant so it takes quite a while for court appearances to be scheduled. But, I use the time to prepare your case and to prepare you for court. You will often be required to speak on your own behalf in the Bet HaDin, answering direct questions from the dayanim. We’ll go over what to expect so you’ll be prepared.

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The process of presenting a case and hearing arguments is generally the same in each Rabbinic Court , but the way it plays out will depend on the dayanim you appear before. Sometimes they will attempt to settle a case quickly and cut to the chase right away so as not to drag it out. Some take longer because they are very thorough in their approach.

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There is a chance, after your first court appearance, that you’ll be sent out for more negotiations (which will take place between your advocates) to reach an agreement. Or the dayanim could make a temporary decision on one issue like custody, and leave you to work out the less contentious details. If necessary, they will schedule an additional court date to have documents presented and explained. If no progress is made and there is a need for witnesses to appear or another presentation of arguments to be made, additional court dates will be scheduled. A decision from the Bet HaDin could take a lot of litigation which means a lot of time. Depending on the case, and the nature of your spouse and their advocate, this back and forth could stretch out for months and even years.

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Final note

While you are not halachically required to bring an attorney or toen/toenet with you to the Bet HaDin, you can see why I strongly advise you don’t go it alone. You’ll need someone to help prepare you and present your case. It’s to your advantage to have me represent you. I have a deep understanding of the intricacies of halacha (Jewish law), I’m well versed in civil law, and I know many of the dayanim. I understand the nuances of the Rabbinic Court’s workings and I’m known amongst the dayanim to be a Toenet of the highest moral standards, with a focus on fair solutions.