Mediation can save emotional time, energy and money. But not all situations or people are able to use this method to put together a divorce agreement. These ten tips for finding the right divorce attorney (when mediation is not an option), is crucial to your future.
Why You Need a Professional Advocate
Even though you could represent yourself in Beit HaDin, without professional representation there is the danger of many crucial issues being overlooked. It goes without saying, divorce is overwhelming. You will need to make a myriad of critical decisions under immense pressure. Often your well-intentioned friends and family shower you with their advice. But, unfortunately, that advice is usually colored by emotion or based on their own limited personal experience.
A professional advocate is there to guide you through the confounding maze of divorce – the many options available to you, the decisions you’ll have to make, and the possible long-term effects of those decisions. The requirements for filing the documents alone can be completely overwhelming. While the outcome can’t be guaranteed, having an experienced, qualified, and appropriate advocate, whether it’s an attorney or a toen/et, will significantly improve your ability to protect yourself, your children and your assets.
What Are Your Options For Securing Representation?
In Israel, if you qualify, the government will provide you with an attorney either free of charge or heavily subsidized. Approval for legal aid is granted based on financial need. There is a relatively simple form to fill out to make your application.
If you’ve seen a social worker from social services (the Revacha), her recommendation will be very helpful in your application. If you qualify, there are many excellent family lawyers who could be assigned to your case.
However, you may not qualify for legal aid. Or you are entitled to legal aid but you don’t have confidence in the lawyer assigned to you. It might happen that your case is so complex and nuanced that you require a lawyer who specializes in a subcategory of family law. In cases like these you will need to find your own lawyer.
Finding an advocate is a daunting task. You’ll need someone you can both trust and work with, who compliments your personality, and is experienced in your unique situation. You are depending on him or her to achieve the best possible results for you and your family. Your future depends on it!
Ten Tips For Finding The Right Divorce Attorney
Experience in Family Law. Your third cousin twice removed, volunteers to help you. He might be a great real estate lawyer or a genius in tax law. But if he or she doesn’t have significant recent experience in family law and the Beit HaDin in particular, you might want to bow out with a, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Only someone experienced in divorce will be equipped to navigate the constantly changing family law field in Israel.
Understanding of your culture and language. And I don’t just mean English. You’ll need to understand the divorce process. Your advocate must be prepared to patiently explain everything to you in layman’s terms, not legalese. The Israeli legal system is quite complicated given that both the Rabbinic and the Family Court may be involved in your divorce. Anyone from a Western country is likely to find it quite bewildering. You should look for an attorney who demonstrates that he or she is eager to enlighten you on what to expect.
Trustworthy. When going through a divorce, it’s to your advantage to be totally up front with your advocate. You’re going to have to feel comfortable with your attorney because you may be required to share some very personal and sensitive things about your life. You’ll need to feel you can trust him or her and that you get support, not judgment.
A Good Psychological Perspective. It’s crucial for your divorce attorney to be able to determine if a proposed arrangement is sustainable for you. A solid psychological perspective will enable him or her to understand your personal needs and those of your unique children. If you or your spouse (or your spouse’s lawyer for that matter) is manipulative, aggressive, narcissistic, or has a diagnosis of a mental illness – including depression or personality disorder – having a lawyer with a strong background in psychology is invaluable.
Specialized Lawyer for Criminal Acts. If you or your spouse (or anyone else involved in your divorce) has committed any criminal acts, you’ll need a specialized divorce attorney. A mediator, toen/et will not be able to adequately represent you. There are lawyers who specialize in Juvenile Law or social services cases. These are complex issues, which when not handled with expert knowledge and professionalism can devolve into catastrophic situations.
Experience in The Bet HaDin. You need someone who is experienced and comfortable with the Rabbinic Court system. They must know what to expect from the Dayanim/Judges. The toen/et is then able to adapt their legal approach on your behalf, and appeal to the previous rulings and judicial leanings of the Dayanim/Judges they appear before.
Expertise In Wealth Or Debt. If you have significant wealth or debt, you will need a lawyer who either works with a CPA or has vast experience in the business world. Your attorney and his or her advisors will comfortably navigate bankruptcy claims, debts, collections, wills, trusts and estate planning.
Versatile and Collaborative. Your lawyer should have the ability to handle a variety of roles, from problem-solving and negotiation to maintaining clear boundaries. A good advocate stands up for what’s best for you and is willing to consult with your spouse’s lawyer or any other legal professional if it’s in your best interest.
Supportive of Your Wishes. Your divorce attorney should support your approach to the divorce. If you want to keep things quiet and “play fair”, don’t choose an aggressive lawyer. If you want to get it over quickly, make sure your lawyer doesn’t turn your divorce into the war of attrition.
Clarity On Legal Fees. The last of the ten tips for finding the right divorce attorney is one of the most important. Don’t walk blindly into an agreement. Insist that your attorney be very clear about the fees. Do some homework before you meet to determine whether it’s more beneficial in your case to pay by the hour or with a global fee. (With a global fee you know up front what the cost of your divorce will be. For example, are the filings and court fees included, or are they extra?) So, ask about payment plans as well to give you enough information to make an informed decision.
These ten tips for finding the right divorce attorney are a good start towards making sure you head into your divorce with as much information as possible.
Shoshana Goldstein- Nissenbaum is a Toenet Rabbanit and mediator. She is dedicated to seeing her clients and their families through this difficult time. Shoshie has vast experience working with lawyers, Rabbanim, therapists and social services. She provides her clients with the direction and connections they need when divorce is inevitable.
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